Battle of the Sex's-Drama Skit

Battle of the Sex's-Drama Skit

Themes: Sex and intimacy in marriage
Categories: Love & Marriage 

The next big boxing match is Sex vs. Intimacy. Dave and Carol have their boxing gloves on, ready to fight for what they want.  Dave wants sex more often and Carol wants more long walks and cuddling.  For Dave, intimacy equals sex, but for Carol intimacy is non-sexual closeness and shared communication.  Dave throws his "punches": "When you withhold sex, I feel unloved."  But Carol jabs back: "I feel unappreciated when you come home, sit in front of the t.v. and don't talk to me all night, and then expect me to be your "love slave." The jabs continue back and forth until they both realize that if they're willing to give a little, they may each get more of what they actually want.


Because of the subject matter this skit is intended for more of an adult audience

Style: Comedy

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Characters: 5 (3 Male, 2 Female)
Length: 5-8 minutes
Excerpt (Sample)

Setting: A boxing ring.  A man and woman are dressed in athletic wear, with boxing gloves. Dave stands in one corner, “dancing’ around as boxers do, while Carol stands in the opposing corner doing the same movements.  Also in Dave’s corner is his male Coach (#1), and in Carol’s corner is her female Coach (#2). 

Announcer:      (in a loud, “announcer” voice) Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to tonight’s match.  This should be a close fight.  

In this corner (points to where Dave is standing) in the red and blue shorts (describe what the guy is wearing) we have the King of the Castle, Lord of the Manner, the Studly Stallion—Dave, weighing in at 183 pounds. 

Dave steps forward, raises his arms in the air.  Coach 1 claps and cheers

 Coach 1:            You’re the man, Dave! 

 Coach 2:            (boos) Wimp!

 Dave steps back 

Announcer:      And in this corner (points to where Carol is standing) wearing the pink polka dotted shirt (or whatever she’s wearing), we have the Queen of her Domain, the Beautiful Bombshell, the Happy Homemaker—Carol, weighing in at…

Carol and Coach 2 give the announcer a very dirty look

 Announcer:      (clears his throat)…Let’s just say she weighs over 100 pounds.

 Carol steps forward, raises her arms in the air

 Coach 2:         That’s my girl!  Go get him, Carol! 

Coach 1:            (boos) She couldn’t touch him with a 10-foot pole!

Carol steps back 

Announcer:            May I have both contenders in the middle of the ring, please. 

Dave and Carol step to the middle of the stage, facing each other, the announcer in between 

Announcer:      All right, let’s have a clean fight.  No holding, tripping, pushing, biting, spitting, kicking, hair pulling or head-butting. No "rabbit-punches,” and of course, no hitting below the belt.  Understood?

Dave and Carol shake their heads “yes” 

Dave:               (to Carol) You’re going down, Carol! 

Carol:              (to Dave) Only to see you lying’ unconscious on the floor, Dave! 

Dave:               (getting in her face) In your dreams, sweetheart! 

Carol:              You wish!

Announcer breaks them up and they each go back to their corner 

Coach 1:         (to Dave) All right now, remember what I told you.  Hit her high, hit her hard.  She’s yours.  You own her.  She’s going down! 

Dave:               (repeating Coach 1) I own her.  She’s going down! 

Coach 2:         (to Carol) Remember, he’s gonna come out hitting high and hard, so defend yourself but don’t cower.  Stand up and fight back.  Put him on the defensive.  Got it? 

Carol:              Put him on the defensive.  Got it!

Announcer rings a bell to indicate beginning of fight 

Announcer:      Dave (looks to Dave, motions for him to come to center stage), Carol (looks Carol and does same)….Fight!

Dave and Carol “dance” around each other a bit 

Coach 1:         Hit her! 

Coach 2:         Hit him! 

Dave:               Come on honey, take your best shot! 

Carol:              You first. 

Dave:               You got it.  I want sex more often! (pretends to punch her, she reels back as if hit) 

Coach 1:         That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! 

Coach 2:         Defend yourself, Carol! 

Carol:              I want more non-sexual touching.  (she jabs as Dave tries to dodge) When all you want is sex, it makes me feel like all you’re interested in is my body.  (she punches and Dave reacts as if hit) 

Coach 2:         You go girl! 

Dave:               I am interested in your body! (he jabs) When you withhold sex, I feel unloved.  (he punches and she dodges) 

Coach 1:         You tell her! 

Carol:              I feel unappreciated when you come home, sit in front of the t'v. and don’t talk to me all night, and then expect me to be your “love slave.”  (she punches, Dave reacts) 

Coach 2:         That’s it.  Stay on the offensive, now. 

Carol:              Sometimes I’m tired at the end of the day.  After work, the kids, the bills, and the housework, the last thing on my mind is sex! (she punches hard, Dave holds his hands up to his face to ward off her attack)  

Dave:               (with his hand in front of his face) I’m never too tired for sex! 

Carol:              Well I am!  (she punches left and right) 

Coach 1:         She’s got you pinned in the corner. Get out of there!  

Carol:              Sometimes all I want is a hug. (she jabs, he dodges) Or a kiss on the cheek.  (she jabs, he dodges) Or just to go to sleep! (punches

Dave:               (still holding up his hands in front of his face) I like to go to sleep after sex! 

Carol hauls off and punches Dave hard—he falls to the floor 

Announcer moves to Dave and begins the count 

Announcer:      One…two… three… 

Coach 2:         (jumps up and down) Way to go Carol! 

Coach 1:         Get up Dave!  Get up!