My Life is a Zoo -Drama Skit

My Life is a Zoo -Drama Skit

Themes: Functioning during the crazy "zoo" like moments in life; God helps us during our rough and busy times of life; God provides a way of escape during tough times
Categories: Love & Marriage, Topical 

When Jan accidentally sends bags of taffy to the nursing home and  prune juice to her son's soccer game, she realizes her busy life is a lot like a zoo. She is joking of course, until it starts to "rain" envelopes inside her living room.  Inside each envelope is a picture of a zoo animal with a small note attached, representing various "happenings" in her and Dave's life.  For instance, the picture of a rabbit indicates a small group of bunnies is destroying the garden she worked hard to cultivate.  A picture of an elephant leads Dave to remember he forgot to pay the water bill and so on.  As these unexpected messages appear, Jan and Dave begin to turn on each other and eventually realize they are being torn to shreds by their own version of a real life lion's den.  In the end, they decide to turn to the "zookeeper," (God) in the hopes that He can shut the mouths of their "lions."

Style: Comedy

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Characters: 2 (1 Male, 1 Female)
Length: 5-8 minutes
Excerpt (Sample)

Setting: A living room.  Dave sits reading a newspaper while Jan talks on the phone. 

Note:  For this skit you will need several envelopes filled with various pictures of zoo animals.  You can download the pictures from the internet, draw them, or cut them out of magazines etc. Whatever works best for you.  Along with each zoo animal picture, a note should be tucked inside each envelope.  The envelopes should be thrown on stage by someone in close proximity to the stage, either in front of, behind, or off to the side of the stage itself.Animals you will need are: a rabbit, a snake, a cougar, an elephant, a kangaroo, and a lion. 

Jan:                 (on the phone) I’m so sorry for the mix-up at the nursing home, Laura.  (pause) Yes, I know it’s hard for the residents to chew taffy when most of them don’t have teeth. (pause)

 I don’t know what happened.  Billy’s soccer game was today as well, so I must have given him the bag with the prune juice in it by mistake.  (pause)

 Yes, I’m sure there will be a lot of confused 12-year-olds out on the field today.  (puts her hand over the phone and speaks to her husband) Not to mention in the portable potties! (she laughs)

 (uncovers the phone again) What can I say?  Sometimes our life is like a zoo around here and I don’t know if I’m coming or going. (pause

Okay, I will, and please, pass on my sincerest apologies to the residents there.  (pause) Okay, thanks Laura.  Good-bye. (she hangs up the phone)

 (to Dave) I can’t believe I did that!

 Dave:               Well, look at this way, you’ll never be asked to provide refreshments for either the nursing home or the soccer team again! (smiling)

 Jan:                 It’s not funny, Dave!  (trying not to laugh, she finally gives in) Okay, maybe it is a little bit. 

 They both laugh

 Dave:               Don’t beat yourself up.  Like you said, it’s a zoo around here sometimes. 

 The first envelope is thrown on stage.  It should contain the rabbit.  Dave is engrossed in his newspaper so he doesn’t see it.

 Jan:                 (notices the envelope) Dave, did you just see that?

 Dave:               (looking up from his paper) See what?

 Jan:                 An envelope just landed in the middle of our living room!

 Dave:               What are you talking about?

 Jan:                 (freaked out) I was sitting here and out of nowhere that envelope (points to it) flew in here! 

Dave:               (looks where the envelope landed) It was probably here already and the fan just blew it around or something.  Envelopes just don’t fall from the sky, Jan. 

Jan:                 (calming down a bit) Maybe you’re right.  (goes to the envelope and picks it up and looks at it) That’s weird. 

Dave:               What is it?

 Jan:                 I don’t know.  There’s no name on it or return address, no stamp, no anything.  I don’t remember even seeing it before.  

Dave:               Open it and see what it is.  

Jan opens the envelope and pulls out a large picture of a bunny 

Jan:                 It’s a picture of a rabbit.  

Dave:               What’s it for? 

Jan:                 How should I know?  (looks inside the envelope) Wait, there’s a note. (she pulls out the note and reads it) It says, “Everyone loves Peter Cottontail except when he’s eating lunch in your garden.”  

Dave:               What does that mean? 

Jan:                 Why do you keep asking me?  I don’t know! 

Dave:               Peter Cottontail is a rabbit, right? 

Jan:                 Yes. 

Dave:               When was the last time you checked the garden? 

Jan:                 I don’t know, a couple days ago, I guess.  

Dave:               Maybe you should see if everything is all right. 

Jan exits, we hear her talk off stage 

Jan:                 (off stage we hear her gasp loudly) Shoo!  Shoo! Get away you floppy-eared fur balls!

Jan re-enters looking sad/mad 

Jan:                 They destroyed our garden!  There were five or six rabbits feasting away on our veggies and now it’s ruined! 

Dave:               (somewhat teasing) Those wascally wabbits! 

Jan:                 It’s not funny, Dave.  I worked hard on that garden.  I was looking forward to homemade carrot soup. 

Dave:               Are they still there?  Maybe we can have homemade rabbit stew instead! 

Jan:                 (smiles) Don’t make me laugh.  (pouty) I wanted my fresh veggies. 

Dave:               I’m sorry, honey.  I guess next time we’ll have to put a small fence around the garden to keep Bugs Bunny out.  

Another envelope is thrown in—the one with the elephant.  This time Dave sees it. 

Jan:                 (freaks out again) Did you see it this time?  

Dave:               (a bit freaked out himself) You mean did I see an envelope appear out of nowhere and land on our floor?  That would be a big YES! (picks up the envelope)  Same as before—no name, address or anything.  Where are these things coming from? 

Jan:                 Open it.

Dave opens it and pulls out a large picture of an elephant 

Dave:               It’s an elephant. 

Jan:                 Let me see.  (takes the envelope from Dave and pulls out the note & reads it)Elephants may never forget but you do.”  (looks to Dave) What that’s supposed to mean?  Forget what?  

Dave:               I don’t know.  I…(suddenly recognition sets in) Uh-oh.  

Jan:                 (with an accusing glance) What?  What did you forget, Dave? 

Dave:               (innocently) I may have forgot to pay the water bill last month. 

Jan:                 (angry) What?  Are you serious?  That was the second notice.  I reminded you for days!  

Dave:               I know, I know.  I’m sorry.  I forgot!  You don’t think they turned off our water, do you? 

Jan:                 Only one way to find out.  (she exits)

After a moment we hear her from off stage 

Jan:                 (angry, off stage) Dave! 

Dave:               I guess that would mean they did.

Jan re-enters, angry 

Dave:               (apologetic) I’ll take care of it.  I promise. 

Jan:                 (very sweet) Forget it.  (sarcastic) Oops, you already did!  I’ll take care of it.  I’ll go pay it right now. 

Another envelope is thrown in with the kangaroo 

Jan:                 (getting annoyed) What is the deal with these things?  What else did you forget? 

Dave:               (picks up the envelope) Nothing!  (opens it and pulls out the kangaroo) 

Jan:                 It’s a kangaroo.  What, are we supposed to “jump to it” or something? 

Dave:               (reads the note) “You’re baby Joey has been caught cheating at school.” 

Jan:                 Joe was caught cheating? I knew those A’s were too good to be true.  He never studies and I never see him doing homework.  

Dave:               Wait until he gets home tonight.  That’s one baby Joey that’s gonna be in big trouble! 

Two envelopes are thrown this time—one with the cougar and one with the snake.  Dave should open the snake and Jan the cougar. 

Dave:               (trying to be lighten the moment) It’s a downpour! 

Jan gives him a dirty look 

Dave:               I’ll just open this one and see what it says.  (he opens the snake envelope, pulls out the snake, then reads the note) 

                        “A trustworthy friend has betrayed you.” 

                        Is this for you or me?